Recently read Muddie's blog re the poor dead hamster and remembered a rather cautionary tale about a 'dead' hamster which you might like. It is entirely true - I was there!
I have a friend J who is a bit scatty (in good company then!) anyway other than horses, which she is very good with, she doesn't really 'do' animals. She was a tad shocked when daughter turned up at the end of term with Hammy the school hamster " I said we'd look after him".... in pitiful voice......"well no-one else offered..."
First few days were fine and by chance I met J in the shop, " How's Hammy?" I asked laughing.
"Don't ask!" she replied, "Bloody thing died - I buried it this morning - I'll have to get another for her to take back to school.... she hasn't noticed yet!" .......Teacher of Hammy's class enters shop....."Oh s**t!" says J trying to hide behind a display of dried fruit, "Hide me - I cant tell her I've killed the bloody hamster...!"
Too late, across comes Teacher and in happy dulcet tones, ..."and how is our dahling little Hammy getting along in your household? ..Isn't he just a sweetie...so cute and the children just ADORE him!!"
"Errrr slight problem there." stutters J, by now visibly uncomfortable wishing for big hole in ground to open up right now!
Teacher adopts that ' well tell me now or else' look, and folds arms across large chest!
By now J has shrunken to half her normal size.
"Its dead!" she mutters, "PARDON?" trills teacher,...... this is where I got the giggles thinking of the John Cleese sketch of the dead parrot...
"Hammy the hamster is DEAD and I've buried him!" J's getting a bit of confidence back now and is starting to brazen it out!
"ARE YOU SURE?" shouted teacher!
"'Course I am, I can recognise a bloody dead hamster when I see one!" retorted J
whole shop now at a standstill watching the proceedings.... like Wimbledon!
"Well I just wondered.... because they do go into hibernation if there is a sudden drop in the temperature and seeing as how you have half your windows out at the moment.........!"
We were out of that shop and running down the road like a couple of whirling dervishes, J shouting, "Omigod, omigod I've buried the hamster and he's still alive.....Yikes!!!"
Spades and earth flying everwhere, shrieking women -its a wonder we weren't lugged away in straight jackets!
We got Hammy out of his coffin and into the house and warmed him gently through, no not in a microwave! By next morning he was fine and J took him and his box to teacher for safe keeping! Guess what - second day of new term the ungrateful little varmint died and had another funeral!
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About Me
- snailbeachshepherdess
- We live precariously balanced on a granite/quartzite ridge facing the prevailing westerly winds straight from the Welsh coast. On a crystal clear day we can see Cader Idris, but on others we can barely find the gate! Having spent the majority of my years doodling in one art form or another have decided to doodle in words for a change. That's all these are...doodles about life as we know it ... mother to three sons, grandma to one grandson and one grandaughter, shepherdess to 14 sheep, cat's mother to six assorted felines, dog warden to three dogs, ...oh and there's a shepherd gently snoring in front of the fire...please close the door quietly on the way out....
7 comments:
Please do not metion them in our house, we had cannibal hamsters with teeth like razors, to clean tehm out I had to wear gardeing gloves!
Oh! Priceless....my friend whacked her husband's pet cockerell on the head when it attacked her for the nth time. Phoned me in a panick so I said 'pluck it, and put it in the freezer- he'll think a fox has taken it!'
Half way through plucking it, it came round.........
We know nothing....we've seen nothing...
Oh good grief . . . . .I didn't know whether to laugh, or cry!
Yep, I've done that too! Not to somebody else's mind you, that was priceless! I did bury my son's dead one though, THEN heard that they do that, dug him up, rinced the soil off in warm water, hairdriered it, put him in the airing cupboard. All a total waste of time, dead as a doornail.
Great story! School hamsters always died on us when I was little too - oops maybe they were just hibernating! Just saw your one below - I loathe big supermarkets and shopping malls too.
School hamsters should be outlawed like peanut butter sandwiches in the school cafeteria! I laughed like a crazy woman when I read your story!
I have laughed and laughed - so sorry it was the thought of furious digging - wonderful - sorry he died in the end - warmed up too quick I reckon! Fab blog. Just the job to cheer me up.
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