Dorset...part 3

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Thursday was another grey day....not exactly wet but as if a huge cloud of grey candyfloss was wrapped around everything leaving faces, hair and hands sticky and in need of hot water. We decided to leave the coast and head inland to the north of the county and so it was we came upon Cerne Abbas......'There's a big giant somewhere here ...centuries old...lets have a look......' says she in the navigator's seat. Found the signs...and a car park....got out of the car..camera at the ready......'Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat the hell is Homer berludy Simpson doing there?' I shrieked....none too quietly I might add! I don't know if the rest of our party became hysterical at what was in front of them on the opposite hillside or at my reaction to it!

I must have been in hospital when the furore concerning this advertising stunt was in the papers because husband and son knew all about it and the apparent rows it had caused ...but I hadn't a clue! The pictures I took of this ...this ...this (spitting mad here...can you tell?) outrage were so awful I must have been shaking so have taken this one off the website which eventually had to close it was so full of debate and bitching! I read through some of the comments on there yesterday and whilst some people just think its a good laugh others were upset, furious and insulted by it.

Nobody can be certain how old the Cerne Abbas giant is...or indeed what he was put there for..whether pagan, to frighten maurauding tribes away, fertility symbol...or whatever...he is there and is part of the heritage of the area, appears in numerous history books, on postcards, teatowels etc and no doubt has caused millions of school children untold mirth for pretty obvious reasons. So why am I so upset about it? Well...I am not Pagan, nor indeed deeply religious and cannot hang my hat on that particular hook....I simply cannot understand why computer graphics could not have been used to facilitate an advert for the latest Simpson movie without having to make a mockery of our heritage right there on a hillside in Dorset. Yes I know its biodegradeable and the sooner it washes away the better...with all the rain that has poured on it recently though I think it may be there a while yet! I feel embarrassed for the bus loads of tourists that may stare at it quizically and wonder why...why the hell did anybody give permission for it....money perhaps? Have we sunk so low? When a local farmer tried to advertise his PYO business in this neck of the woods by cutting the bracken on the hillside into the letters PYO he ended up in court for desecrating the countryside...so what the hell is this? Well thats my opinion ...I am still fuming...what do you think? Am I being oversensitive...I really do have a sense of humour but not on this occasion!!!

Quick ..lets get on the road again.....

By now it was as black as night and we knew a storm was due....we weren't to be disappointed! As we entered the car park in Sherborne the sky opened and the memories of last Friday literally flooded back! The car park is adjacent to the bowling green where some elderly ladies had been happily engrossed in their game....they attempted to carry on in white macs and a white boiler suit....(a knife twisted as I remembered the white boiler suits of Foot and Mouth...do not go there...we are on holiday!!!) They had to admit defeat and scurried for the clubhouse leaving the bowls in the rain.....in a few minutes the green turned into a lake and one poor soul had to run out and collect the bowls and they started to move about in the water! Not for the first time this week I had visions of us spending a night in a village hall!

We braved the flooded streets and were not disappointed...I fell in love with Sherborne immediately and have already suggested a weekend in the autumn to return. Still dodging the tail end of the storm with one rickety unbrella between us we took refuge in the beautiful Abbey along with a lot of other people...an old lady openly sat reading a broadsheet newspaper balanced across the pews....we wandered off in different directions. I was transfixed by the intricate stonework above the altar...and the ultra modern altar cloth and how they

complemented each other. As in Beaminster earlier in the week it was organ practice time and I sat and listened to Jesu Joy of Man's Desire being played so beautifully it gave me goose bumps.

We went out and dumped the brolly in a bin as the sun came out and the thatched roofs seemed to cry big fat tears onto the pavement...I never noticed before ...thatched roofs do not have gutters....is that why there is always a garden or an area of pebbles in front of them?

We left Sherborne vowing to return and headed for Blandford Forum which although not as pretty as Sherborne was full of bustling little shops and cafes. It was here in Blandford Forum I found the Purple homework book...'We were the Mulvaneys' .....I had almost given up after seemingly searching every bookshop in Dorset! We were in and out of little shops like rabbits going down burrows and eventually came to rest in The Half Crown Cafe over steaming latte coffees and toasted teacakes!

We were satisfied with our day, although I remained 'sore' about you know what!

Each evening we explored beaches and went for windy bracing clifftop walks....Burton Bradstock...deserted, Eype....that access road..yikes! West Bexington......sweet. All places to which I already long to return to and see them bathed in sunlight.

But tomorrow the sun will shine again.....................

Dorset.......part 2

We left Mapperton House after coffee and huge slabs of sticky ginger cake avoiding the A35 we headed towards Dorchester in pursuit of Thomas Hardy's birthplace at Higher Bockhampton. (We had soon realised that it was necessary to avoid the A35 clogged each morning as it was...we had no option each morning but to turn right out of Chideock towards Bridport and one morning that little effort took half an hour!)

Parking in a woodland glade seemed very apt and we had the choice of walking down the lane or through the woods...we chose the woodland trail, a bonfire in the field left the air hazy and blue which added to the atmosphere...I almost expected Rufus Sewell to walk out of the trees as he did in the film adaptation of 'The Woodlanders' ........we arrived at the cottage surrounded by a garden stuffed with 'proper' olde worlde flowers and divided by gravel paths. The cottage looked lovely but the inside was sparse and cold...which I felt was a shame....I remember our numerous visits to Dylan Thomas' house at Laugharne in South Wales where it is warm and cosy and where my three boys and I have sat for hours listening to Richard Burton reading from 'Under Milkwood'.....I had expected something similar... perhaps not at Max Gate which is clearly inhabited but here...lost in the atmospheric woods...and yet Hardy's study furniture is behind glass in the museum at Dorchester.....a carved stone monument stands nearby on the track inscribed 'from your American Friends' .....I felt Hardy's American admirers had indeed made more of an effort than we had ....and left Lower Bockhampton a little sad.

Having spent quite a few hours on the literary trail...it was time for the menfolk to have their choice and we wound through the lanes through villages overflowing with thatched cottages, stone cottages in every colour shape and size, streams and picturesque arched bridges until we reached Bovington and the tank museum.

I can't say that I was as interested in these huge ugly war machines that had all seen active service in numerous conflicts as the men were...discussing horsepower and armaments for hours on end....I just wondered how many souls had perished becuse of them and was content to watch the various newsreel items of the D day landings. The museum is enormous ...we lost each other almost immediately ...but that was fine. I found the trench set piece and walked through them as the 'sky' flashed with explosions and the soundtrack of tanks and low flying planes became almost unbearable. I was pleased to see that war had not been glamourised in this set piece...there was a boy covered in blood sitting in a dugout sobbing his heart out...his bloodied head in his filthy hands...around the corner a station where the wounded lay on makeshift stretchers. An alleyway shored up with corrugated iron took me through into a German trench where the roaring of a tank engine nearly deafened me......a real tank was suspended mid air on the edge of the trench whilst two German soldiers cowered beneath....another second ...and their war was over.

It was rather pleasant to be out in the sunshine again and to travel to Lulworth Cove. Youngest son was in his element having spent numerous hours engrossed on the subject of erosion. His GCSE geography exam had included questions on Lulworth cove and the Jurassic Coast and he was eager to see it 'for real'.

We could not have chosen a better evening....I'll shut up and show the photographs he took!

Wednesday dawned ......well it didn't actually ...it was grey and windy..rain lashed at the little windows and I almost welched at the walk to the little shop at Seatown to get some milk. But off we went only to be buffeted by gale force winds and mercilessly slapped with hailstones.....the waves were not the friendly little souls of yesterday but huge foamy aggressive roaring beings that were capable of damage.

he weather never deters us on holiday.....so we turned left on the A35 and headed for Devon...to Branscombe.... watermill, forge and old bakery....it rained...the pictures are miserable...the scalding hot tea was wonderful though! A walk down to the sea through the little village .....why on earth was there what appeared to be a construction site on the beach? There were diggers, dumpers...men in flourescent jackets, containers...notices...and then as the mist cleared for a second......the 21st century shipwreck....MCS Napoli! Now we had no idea it was there...we do not normally gawp at accidents ....but there she was .....in two pieces now...very surreal in the mist!

This 'mist' seemed to be a wall of low cloud that eventually broke up as we went further into Devon to Sidmouth....where I was amazed to find advertised ..boat trips at £6.50 per person out to the MCS Napoli! There were some strange sights on Sidmouth seafront that day...besides us!!

well there you go ...takes all sorts..............

We left Sidmouth in the sunshine and hurried back to Lyme Regis where with hundreds of others we gathered on every vantage point to await the Red Arrows (Sally said....!!!)

I have never actually seen the Red Arrows in display mode and was so amazed at times forgot to take a picture!! Some that I did take were mere plumes of coloured smoke but I did strike lucky a couple of times........

Tomorrow....still in Doset I will be having a bit of a rant.....you may not agree with me ...but I am still annoyed about something we found....

Dorset ...via a 'white knuckle' ride

This was the night before 'storm Friday'...it was sultry and weird. The sky was heavy and the Long Mountain appeared on fire. Everything was so quiet you could hear the thud of your own heartbeat. Then there was Friday...stair rods of rain for the whole day...unceasing. The road home from work was blocked by floods, the diversion was nearly as bad...I crept home behind my neighbour...the two of us drove on deserted pavements to avoid the rushing torrents.......

Saturday dawned ...still raining ..but the normal stuff we all recognise! Quandry time....shall we...shan't we....an E mail from Sally in France...'my mum says its lovely in Dorset...' but we had a 'severe weather warning' until midday....the car was packed, the cottage had been paid for months ago....at 11am we plunged in...or took off...for Dorset! Four hours later we still had not reached Hereford....I had been driving until I completely freaked in a flooded back road near Leominster. We had done 30 miles in four hours and had seen the most unbelievable sights....the river was the same level as the road when it usually happily burbling in the valley below! Caravans passed us going in the opposite direction...down the river! 'I want to go home' was on the tip of my tongue but didn't dare say it! I had visions of us spending our week in a village hall rescue shelter....local radio kept updating the situation and my knuckles got whiter on the door by the minute....we skirted Hereford town centre....it was closed to all traffic besides boats...we could see them paddling away to rescue somebody or something. We then left the valley and headed uphill towards Monmouth and the Severn Bridge and the rain stopped.....

We arrived in Dorset at 6pm to one of the loveliest cottages I have ever stayed in.....ten out of ten to Dorset Coastal Cottages....I dont know if that works but they deserve it. Purple coo bags spotted in Dorset.....Angel please note

The cottage was beautifully cared for as was the walled back garden where a family of the fattest thrushes lived happily on the sriped lawn...I thought they were bantams! The owners trusted us with their collections of ornaments....old pictures of Chideock, shoe stretchers on the landling ledges and pewter animals peeping out of the stone walls where there was a hollow.

Sunday dawned bright and sunny so we were up with the larks and away before any 'weather' caught up with us!

Lyme Regis was our first destination .....hell you would have to be fit to live there....the streets are all uphill and when I say uphill I mean exactly that! Following Sally's instructions and avoiding the 'grockles' ...(I didn't know what one of those was either....thought it was a weird fishing boat!) we found the Jane Austen gardens and the crazy golf...somehow that just doesn't 'go' does it? We looked down onto the beach as the buckets and spade brigade arrived ....and I got sunburnt!

We wandered around the streets, along the harbour wall, the smell of suncream, chattering of excited children on the first day of thir holiday, ice creams running everywhere and seagulls wheeling overhead...would it last? Was it only yesterday we were swerving around abandoned cars in the floods? It seemed an age ago!

We found the town mill ....still working. We watched how all the wheels and cogs worked together and turned the grinding stones...that came from France. Unable to be certain to please Trading Standards re weights and measures the flour cannot be 'sold' but for a donation you can take a bag of wholemeal flour.....

We went up hill and down hill all day and by teatime we were glad to head 'home' with a bag full of freshly baked bread and quiches, fresh salad and fruit for a Sunday high tea in the beautiful garden. The pigeons conversed in the trees ...we all laughed at ..(.was it Blossom who came out with this little gem.)..'My feet hurt Betty!' I can't hear a pigeon now without hearing it!

Monday.....we were back to normal....rain, mist and fog. So we headed to Thomas Hardy's Casterbridge....Dorchester and spent the entire morning in the museum which is an amazing place......we split up .....I was happy in the literary rooms listening to audio extracts from Hardy's books, the others were either in the geology and archaelogy bits or reading all about T. E Lawrence .... the Lawrence of Arabia exhibition. We re grouped at feeding time and found a cafe with an unusual name....'The Horse with the Red Umbrella' apparently at one time a little theatre and this was the name of the very last play.









The Dorchester museum main hall with Roman mosaic panels on the floor.

I was now well and truly on the Thomas Hardy trail and with National Trust book clutched to chest off we went to find his house. Not as easy as I thought as we went round the same roundabout for the umpteenth time!! We gave up.....made our way out to the Dorchester by pass and found it by accident!!! Max Gate ...only two rooms open to the public plus the garden and pet cemetery. The furniture from his study was in a 'room' setting at the museum so it was a bit disjointed but I am glad we found it. It was too late to find his cottage birthplace at Higher Bockhampton so left that for another day.








Thomas Hardy designed and built Max Gate

Tuesday...we were back to holiday weather and I was up at 6:30 wanting to be outside in the sunshine ....I made a batch of apricot scones with the Lyme Regis flour and we scurried down to the beach at Seatown at the end of the lane clutching them.....butter dripping everywhere...to breakfast on the beach. One of 'those' moments.

By mid morning we had wandered Bridport shops and followed Sally's suggested route to Beaminster. It was hot and quiet....almost dozing under a cloudless sky. We walked down through the square and past a row of cottages where hollyhocks grew in the cracks of the pavement. A lady stood outside the dentist...we tried to guess whether before or after.....laughing conversations billowed out of the hairdressers shop like a flock of exotic birds chattering in the jungle and around the corner stood the church. The organist was practising......Jerusalem. I sat on the wall and sang the words..the others walked away and looked at tombstones pretending they weren't with me......well me and the organist enjoyed it anyway! The seats in the church were cream upholstered...rather grand I thought but very lovely.

Sally's suggested trail then took us between high hedges to Mapperton House along a long tree lined drive. The house does not open regularly but was going to be later that day...unfortunately we couldn't wait for 'opening time' but had a lovely wander round the beautiful gardens and the orangerie. Oranges, lemons, figs and avocados grew outside in the warmth of the walled garden and gardeners that looked as though they had stepped straight out of Hardy novel tended the flowerbeds.

Thank you Sally ...you E mail was clutched and repeatedly read from.....until one husband uttered...'If I hear ...Sally says....once more.....!!'

He was only joking .....we would never have found Mapperton House without you Sally! The cafe was lovely as were the chickens and ducks wandering free......

Haven't finished Tuesday yet ...but post holiday chores are calling....like Sunday lunch for five thousand without a couple of fish..................

Crooked houses at Linley

There was a crooked man

Who had a crooked house......



Just testing really to see if I can still get a picture on here because I have no hope in the other place!!!

After two days of being suspended from skool ...I know not what my crime was except Bodran probably had a lot to do with it last Friday night...I have actually been reinstated....youngest son fiddled ....and fiddled...and there I was ...back in skool!!! Off now to cause more mayhem ...tee hee.



The picture is of the crooked houses at Linley in South Shropshire! And below is 10 year old Kim sitting on the wall with the very grand Linley hall in the background.

Does the Vicar look in your microwave?

Its that awful week just before a holiday where there are not enough hours in the day. I stuff the washing machine and stuff the drier ...no hope of sun dried and windblown laundry at the moment....it never stops raining for more than two hours at a stretch!! The ironing pile has reached the doorhandle and I am without the help of a wonderful woman who has helped me since my accident with the ironing...she is off house sitting in the Wye valley ..so its a case of down a couple of pain killers and just DO IT!!

But its not just the washing ..... before I go away on holiday and at Christmas I HAVE to completely spring clean the house...just in case someone comes in when I'm not here....no way will anyone be able to write...'please dust me' on the hall table! My family think I am a bit strange about this little foible but they do stand at attention and take their orders well!! Believe me they get plenty of orders at the moment.....'put more shavings in the duck house', put the baby seat in the loft, PLEEEEASE!

Eldest son caught me scrubbing like mad at a stain in the microwave when we knew the vicar was due to call.......'Mother ...I am sure the vicar will not be looking in the microwave!' ...I know that but that's not the point is it....I KNEW it was there. That reminds me where's the oven cleaner. After all he might call when we are away and peep in the microwave!!

So the shepherdess is frenetically cleaning, washing and ironing like a demented woman ..all for a holiday.....by the time we go I will be a shadow of my former self...exhausted! But if I don't do it I will not be satisfied....so if you can see a cloud or two over Shropshire...its the rain plus the dust I have shifted and a few navy blue swear words I used when I cracked my head on the breakfast bar!!

And there's a few more navy blue swear words to add to that cloud now...the 'add image' icon just does not work any more..grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Remember the curse of the lilac?

Its still working.....seven months into 2007 and the bad luck remains stuck in the groove!
The Jeep has failed its MOT in truly spectacular style! The estimate for the repairs exceeds £1200, the next day my car failed as well! ********* choose any swear word you like I think I have probably used a few in the last couple of days!! The roof on the sheep trailer fell in as well....now we have sides and no roof but no Jeep to pull it anyway!!

On the plus side the shearers have been AT LAST! The girls look very smart now...but will probably get pneumonia because the temperature has dived again and yes ...its raining ..AGAIN! I was at work so missed the fun...first time I have ever missed it! We tore off into mid Wales last weekend to find some more Torddu sheep ...found some beautiful young ladies but in view of above unexpected financial drain have had to ring and cancel the order...grrrrr!

I have only just realised that our holiday is creeping up very fast...I thought we had a couple of weeks to get ready ......Errrr NO! Next Friday night we have got to be packed and ready for the off first thing on Saturday morning to Dorset!!! That sort of came round very fast without me looking!

Youngest son decided to have a one man mutiny this week as well and flatly refused to go for his interview for a back up place at a local College! My baby pulled himself up to his full 6 feet and just said firmly and quietly...'I AM NOT GOING' ...there was me spluttering and squawking all over the place...and.......he never went!! Fingers crossed he gets the place at his first choice ...because he has not got a fall back position now! The girlfriend and the little green bracelet have been relegated to a 'no go' area. They have gone!

Middle son is like a caged animal...still off work after hand operation and his girlfriend is in Spain on a girlie holiday, our last conversation went like, 'Have you heard from O?' ......'Yep...and before you ask... she says she's behaving herself and thinking of me ...and do I believe her....nope!' wish I'd never asked.

The mines in the village are open on Sunday...could be good for a laugh ...they are all full of water..so we are having a mini market for local produce and crafts. That would be fine except all I have got for my stall are four jars of burnt marmalade, the fruit in the garden is covered in mildew and I haven't got a vehicle to find a PYO that may be open if not under water!

Can't get the image thing to open tonight.... so no pictures of woolly women after visit to hairdressers!

Oooooooooooooooooooh I give up where's the bottle opener!!!!!

Well the title thing doesn't work...again ....but then it did yesterday when I had finished ....weird!
I do not seem to be able to log on to the new skool site...but won't panic just yet! Its all toooooo much for this hour on a Sunday! I wanted to ask Mountainear how she does raspberries in Vodka...or how long to leave them for? But I can't find her either!
My cauldrons are boiling...blackcurrant jam and gooseberry and elderflower jam ...went picking fruit yesterday in the SUNSHINE....the real McCoy no less!! It was a lovely day the heat was bouncing up off the grass....talking of grass we thought of offering the lawns up as a silage crop....stripes? Don't be daft there's wild animals hiding in that! Elephants at least!! We found the damson tree had blown down at the top of the garden ...bang goes the damson jam...but here's to some logs for the log burner!

Anyway why I'm here on a Sunday morning is a bit of a rant and hopefully to allay some fears for Funkymunky and a bit more about my "little girl" who stays with us for one week each year.

Firstly I hope this does not offend anyone...I try to be politically correct but may fail. I am not racist in any way shape or form, I was brought up in a lovely atmosphere by well read parents who had friends of all colours and creeds and I hope I have brought my boys up in a similar fashion.

As you may have read yesterday Tanysha is of mixed race and she is extremely attractive. She has had to leave college because of racism taunts from the Asian community. That is what she wrote in her letter and I make no comment.

We were on a trip to London one year ...I think she was about 13 at the time. We had a lovely day in London..a first time trip for Tanysha and youngest son and indeed himself. Me? ...Hell I had lived there for a little while when working there..an awful long time ago. We did the sites, had a ride on an open top bus and even went into Lambeth Palace...well it was a Church organised trip.

The day passed and we were soon on the way back to the Midlands along the motorway when we stoppped for a comfort break. We decided to get drinks and found a table outside in the sun. Thinking about the length of the journey we still had ahead I decided us ladies had better find the facilities and off we strolled. We were actually walking with linked arms chattering away or rather T was chattering and I was probably laughing. There were numerous other coaches parked and lots of people sitting in the sun.

As we passed a group of tables where a group of elderly ladies sat resplendant in jewel coloured saris like a collection of exotic birds one leaned forward and spat at my feet! Charming I thought...ignored it and carried on! It happened at least three more times and I was getting a tad cross!!! We rached the safety of the ladies and I stood there fuming...'what the hell was all that about?' Tanysha hung her head...'its because of me..my mum gets it all the time'.......I was mortified......it appears that because she is obviously mixed race.....and her mother...on this occassion they assumed it was me...is white...therefore her father is obviously black.....are you still with me? Well apparently the elderly ladies of Asian or West Indian origin disapprove of white ladies mixing with black men.....very no go!!!...And boy do they make their feelings known! I was absolutely horrified!

We strolled back ...linked arms and heads held high...and yes we were spat at...that often I lost count!

So it appears this 'racism' has now fouled up this very bright young girl's education ...and not one to take things lying down I am today writing to her mother to tentatively offer her a few alternatives.....I hope she will not be offended.

...and I sincerely hope I have not offended anyone who may read this....I have just simply told it as it was.